Back in the (Rhinoceros) Day
As Brian Mulroney spouted venom about Pierre Trudeau today, it took me back to those halcyon days in the 1980s when we were all more innocent - and a little whackier.
Remember the Rhinoceros Party? I do, with fondness. I had my own Rhino Party badge which I proudly wore in public at the least provocation. A political relative of the Monster Raving Loony Party in the UK, the Rhinos did respectably well in many elections in the 1980s, much to the chagrin of the major parties and to the delight of the electorate.
I took a walk down memory lane (or is that Wiki Lane?) recently and reminded myself why I found their policies so damn compelling. A sampling:
The Rhinos disappeared in 1993, after electoral law changes meant they would have to run at least 50 candidates at $1,000 a head (or is that a tusk???). Regardless, it has left a gaping void in Canadian politics, only partially filled by the occasional Rick Mercer rant.
Political successors include the Absolutely Absurd Party, which is proposing to raffle off Senate seats as a party fundraiser.
But fear not, dear friends! Apparently there is a movement to bring back our treasured Rhinos. In a blatant nod to postmodernism, the NeoRhino Party is actually contesting by-elections in Quebec this September. Their motto is "From Party to Party until Victory." And they are currently recruiting more candidates. Hmmmm.
And the "Neo" part of "NeoRhino"? Ya, that's from Neo, as in the Matrix. Nice.
Remember the Rhinoceros Party? I do, with fondness. I had my own Rhino Party badge which I proudly wore in public at the least provocation. A political relative of the Monster Raving Loony Party in the UK, the Rhinos did respectably well in many elections in the 1980s, much to the chagrin of the major parties and to the delight of the electorate.
I took a walk down memory lane (or is that Wiki Lane?) recently and reminded myself why I found their policies so damn compelling. A sampling:
- reducing the speed of light because it's much too fast;
- abolishing pumping oil out of the ground as that oil is there to keep the earth moving smoothly on its axis and if you withdraw the oil, the whole thing will grind to a halt;
- abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space;
- adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last,
- selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California;
- annexing Greenland and creating a cartel with other northern nations in order to sell icebergs to the Saudis; the cartel would be called "Snopec";
- include the word "fun" in Acts of Parliament, Acts of Provincial Legislatures, and Bylaws of municipalities, from which it was apparently conspicuously absent.
The Rhinos disappeared in 1993, after electoral law changes meant they would have to run at least 50 candidates at $1,000 a head (or is that a tusk???). Regardless, it has left a gaping void in Canadian politics, only partially filled by the occasional Rick Mercer rant.
Political successors include the Absolutely Absurd Party, which is proposing to raffle off Senate seats as a party fundraiser.
But fear not, dear friends! Apparently there is a movement to bring back our treasured Rhinos. In a blatant nod to postmodernism, the NeoRhino Party is actually contesting by-elections in Quebec this September. Their motto is "From Party to Party until Victory." And they are currently recruiting more candidates. Hmmmm.
And the "Neo" part of "NeoRhino"? Ya, that's from Neo, as in the Matrix. Nice.
Comments
A delightful post, thanks for the laughs!
My question is... when are you gonna run for politics?